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Who We Are, What We Have Done

by Jessi Robertson

/
1.
I can fit the puzzle pieces together without a picture I can solve equations with letters representing the numbers I can draw us as two points, measure out the line Plot our position through space and time But I can't find a way to chart the geometry of a heavy heart I can sketch the pattern of stars in the heavens, a perfect replication I can still remember your depth and dimension without hesitation I can map the site where our paths meet And guess at the angle of our defeat But even Euclid and Descartes can't solve the geometry of a heavy heart I can rewrite the rules till our problems are solved I can fake the proofs till you don't trust me at all And it all just falls apart with the geometry of a heavy heart
2.
The Weather 04:38
You seem set on eroding my trust On battering my mountain down to a pile of dust I lie pliant as you pound me until nothing's left Your face grieves for my loss, then laughs at the theft You want to be the weather Driving clouds above my brow It makes you feel electric To see me shiver and bow But your wind can't whip forever And your thunder is silent now You seem hell-bent on breaking my will Holding down my fluttering heart until it lies still I welcome your claws as they slowly sink inside Your smile keeps your secrets but your eyes reveal the lie You want to be the weather Driving clouds above my brow It makes you feel electric To see me shiver and bow But your wind can't whip forever And your thunder is silent now I am ageless and tired I've lived the same life A thousand cycles now You want to be the weather but your wind can't whip forever And your thunder is silent
3.
remember when we couldn't sleep cuz the nightmares were real and their shadows stretched deep I'd say think of a beautiful dream we'd get together when we got older you said I was your savior but you were my shoulder and we shared the myths of the past we don't need our faces in the papers and magazines we don't need our names in the annals of history 'cuz we know who we are and what we have done the monsters we fought and the battles we won we don't need anything from anyone remember when I met you at the train we drank beer on my stoop without saying a thing then we both laughed and took a breath we were naïve and broken and sad I still thought I could save the world when it went bad we don't need our faces in the papers and magazines we don't need our names in the annals of history 'cuz we know who we are and what we have done the monsters we fought and the battles we won we don't need anything from anyone but if you need to breathe I will help you to breathe if you need to believe I will help you to believe if you need to break free I will help you to break free 'cuz you always did the same for me you always did the same for me
4.
We talk oceans into being between us with stinging words that taste of salt and rust then you climb the winding stair, up to the mirror watch your breath form a mist and let it clear snuff out the little flame and leave me in the dark oh lighthouse keeper There's nothing to guide me, when you're out of reach but why should you worry when you're safe on the beach I threw a line out to the shore but you severed the cord oh lighthouse keeper I am a vessel on the sand, stranded and dry said you can't give me what I need, but you didn't try I will track my sightless path across the fathomless span I will make my way alone just to prove that I can keep your little flame, and leave me in the dark oh lighthouse keeper There's nothing to guide me, when you're out of reach but why should you worry when you're safe on the beach I threw a line out to the shore but you severed the cord oh lighthouse keeper
5.
I'm at the dead-end street I'm in the darkened alley It's like it's calling for me It's like I know it wants me There's no escape no escape When you told me not to be afraid I smiled at your innocence When you told me not to be afraid I said the world is on my shoulders If I let it fall it might crush us all I buy human misery For two new shiny quarters Ink runs in the rain My hands are black and stained There's no escape no escape When you told me not to be afraid I smiled at your innocence When you told me not to be afraid I said the world is on my shoulders If I let it fall it might crush us all There's no escape, no escape
6.
It gives 04:48
I keep running up against the wall Like this time it will change, like this time it won't be there at all And it leaves red grit and blue bruises but it never gives Then I begin to give up and I begin to let you go I hate the way hope makes me hold up my head When I know it will betray me, it will slay me and leave me for dead It leaves gray doubts and yellow scars but it never gives Til I begin to give up and I begin to let you go The wind tells me to smile, this is for the best Don't fret for what you can't have, put aside your unrest And it leaves pink cheeks and pale skin and it begins to give me The strength I need to give in and begin to let you go
7.
Mayday 03:45
I know what I'm doing, I won't get hurt Walk off with my heart and I'll steal the shirt Off your back, look behind and I'll laugh I'll beat you in the end. Baby, pretend It's mayday, mayday Baby pretend I'm your friend, the jukebox charlatan quarter for my dreams, dollar for my skin for all these things that roll into and out of my head Like it never happened. Baby, say when It's mayday, mayday Baby, say when I can stop tiptoeing around what I want to say Rehearsing the lines to my own play It might be ok to soften in the sun, a little Then you'll understand. Baby, take my hand, it's mayday. it's mayday.
8.
I can't explain why I do what I do I wake up from dreaming with music in my head I remember singin' the blues every time I felt bad Somehow it got me through Maybe you want to make loads of money Your face on glossy pages, your voice on the radio I just want to survive the only way I know how You can keep the fortune, honey We always argue and I never see it your way You always start but I always have the final say The thing I do, I know it doesn't make sense I could take the easy road to a charmed life But I'll never belong with the successful and strong I just want to pay my rent We always argue and I never see it your way You always start but I always have the final say I remember singin the blues every time I felt bad Somehow it got me through... foolish dream
9.
Broken Thing 03:24
When I couldn't take it anymore I'd go in the bathroom and lock the door and think of the choices before me what the cabinet holds but I always did as I was told am I a broken thing? When the fight began I had nowhere to go so I closed my eyes and turned up the stereo The way a voice can tell stories it's not supposed to tell I keep my secrets and keep them well am I a broken thing? But I pretend everything's ok the bruises are under my clothes and only the mirror knows am I a broken thing?
10.
The sky is turning grey as I walk down 4th avenue but it’s blue above the highway, looming above the roofs and the statue with her green arms and gold flame is standing guard How can it be so beautiful and so hard? I thought of moving to the country when I missed the hills and the sky spangled with stars, the creek's ripples and rills to walk along the old rail trail under a green canopy to disappear slowly and quietly But I took the G train north on Sunday to see a show and I sat at the bar, in the candlelight glow Heard the voices and the guitars bleeding out their tones This place is so foreign but it feels like home The rain fell on my face this morning in Manhattan I'd forgotten my umbrella but I didn't care I straightened my shoulders and waited for the light to change And thought, "I'm really happy to be here"

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I recorded this album in my bedroom in Brooklyn. It was a surprising, crazy, and somewhat strange process.

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released July 8, 2008

All songs composed, performed, and recorded by Jessi Robertson.

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Jessi Robertson Nashville, Tennessee

Jessi Robertson is a Nashville-based singer/songwriter whose work navigates the boundaries between reality and imagination, and lays bare her own emotional truths.

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